but everythingmeans nothing.
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
this will be my last entry of this blog. let everything ends here.
2 years and 21 days of loved and being loved.
17-06-05 till 07-07-07
dun hurt me anymore i beg you.
this will be my last cry for you.
Pls let me go.
-end- 10-10-07
if i ain't got you|9:36 AM
Monday, September 10, 2007
todae, on my way to class, i smell a very fimilar scent. recalling back, it belongs to you. i quickly turn my head back but at the very moment i know it was not you. i remember back in our days, i told ya b4 i smell someone like you in the MRT. U juz laugh. now thinking back was all memories. i miss your smell. the smell of you lingers in my mind. i realli missed. how i wish i could turned back time. No point for now. i know.
the unique smell of yours lingers in my mind.
what can i do?
if i ain't got you|10:09 AM
Thursday, August 30, 2007
family relationship has turn sour. i already did my part. not to involve in quarrels. But dun be a bastard. We'll see whu will win.
computer reformat. lost all my pics taken during this 2 years. FUCK. it's realli all gone now.
if i ain't got you|4:11 PM
Friday, July 13, 2007
i suddenly thinking of one song sang by stella huang xiang yi. she's a singer from sinagpore.
分手第七天
Hen xiang zhi dao ni zui jin guo de zen yang
Shi fou hai xiang yi wang
Bu duo hua
Hen xiang bo tong dian hua
Wen ni hao ma
Que pa ting ni sheng yin hui geng shang
Fen shou di qi tian
Jiu xiang yong yuan
Dui ni de si nian
Yi tian jia duo yi dian
Fen shou di qi tian
Jiu xiang yong yuan
Mei dang bi shang shuang yan
Ni jiu zai wo yan qian
Ni jiu zai yan qian
Hen xiang wo ni de shou
Cong xin lai guo
Que zhi bu ke neng de shi tai duo
Fen shou you shi bu shi wei le shui cuo
Zhi neng mo mo jie shou zhe xin tong
Fen shou di qi tian
Jiu xiang yong yuan
Dui ni de si nian
Yi tian jia duo yi dian
Fen shou di qi tian
Jiu xiang yong yuan
Mei dang bi shang shuang yan
Ni jiu zai wo yan qian
Ni jiu zai yan qian
Fen shou di qi tian
Jiu xiang yong yuan
Dui ni de si nian
Yi tian jia duo yi dian
Fen shou di qi tian
Jiu xiang yong yuan
Mei dang bi shang shuang yan
Ni jiu zai wo yan qian
Ni jiu zai yan qian
was hard for mi. real hard. i'll plunge myself into work and studies now. nothing more.
god tells mi everything happens for a reason. there's some purpose behind it i think. i'll do anything to push myself thru.
time will heal.
if i ain't got you|8:39 PM
Monday, July 09, 2007
i couldnt concentrate on my work at all. i stare blank for quite a number of times. i feel that i'm aimless now.
will i able to see the sunrise with ya again?
saddist cant live his life to the fullest.
if i ain't got you|7:45 AM
Sunday, July 08, 2007
the moment i think of you again. i juz got a very lost feeling.
hundreds of people got married on this very special day. 07-07-2007. but this is the worst day of my life. i lost ya.
i got no one to share my happiness with. these 3 days. was so hard for mi. i've been crying early in the moring. wee hours at nite. i juz cant get u out of my mind. every minutes i'm thinking of you. i dunno if i should let you go. i feel wasted that our 2 year r/s is juz gone. u are my first lady.
u promised mi u would not say break up. whu ask for the break up will be a doggy. i told you i'll not be the one leaving you. but u leave mi. u didnt take mi with you. i feel so lonely now. the emptiness that i feel, couldnt be explained. it hurts gal.i regretted to be so busy. but my intention was to earn money for us. so that we could go out without worrries. but i didnt know that actually causes mi to lose ya.
how am i gonna moved on? i'm so heartbroken. so disappointed.
i'm so scared.
i really missed ya. biyun.
i dunwan any good byes.
in my next life, if there's one more chance for mi. i'll still chose ya to be my wife. i wan to live with ya. i wan to marry you. have our own kids. be ur florist boss. reading books while tending the stall. all i wan is juz to be with you.
if i ain't got you|1:47 AM
Saturday, July 07, 2007
this is the email that she sent to mi asking for a break up.
becca,
i noe that our relationship have been fading all the while. i had loved u, but now, i think i treat u more like a good friend.
u noe? when i have good news to share, my first thought is not u anymore. It's my friends in school; my classmates and my council friends. When i'm in trouble i look for them too mostly. My priorities have changed. And that is y u're actually not invloved in my life anymore. And we seldom communicate. we dun realli sms, nor msn. We're busy with our own schedule. Take today for example, i din noe u had a gathering and u din noe i had a gathering. and we wouldn't have known if u hadn't come and fetch me.
and we seldom c each other. in the past, going out with u was always fun. but since i stepped into jj, u had complains. i had to adapt to the changes and so u have to too. i noe u sorted that out already. but da subsequence meetings, u dun look quite happy. and when u're not happy, i'm not too. so it slowly become bored. and u couldn't acc me to study. i understand that tat's y i had to study with my frenx, taking up da time to meet u, to go out and have fun. i noe i'm busy, u noe i'm busy but i tried to fork out time for u. and apparently sometimes i really couldn't. and i'm sorry for that and thank you for ya understanding.
but becox of this, we rarely ever meet, i dunno wad u're doing everyday. and my frenx, who are with me almost everyday, are the ones who knows wad i do everyday.
So i realise that actually instead of having lover, i need frenx more. frenx who are always by my side and not a lover whom i dun c most of time.
u noe how my this group of frenx reallli touched my heart?? my classmates will help me take down the hw and tell me wad i have to do whenever i miss lessons. den everytime dey will be the one tat buy stuff and share with others. den print things for me without wanting any money from me all these. den i think v sweet, cox they at disadvantage but they dun mind one. den when i have to do things cand cant eat, dey will ask me if i wan eat anythin and den buy for me. den dey are also a very funny bunch of pple. it's these little little things that dey do for me tat i dun feel left out in the class though i may not be with the class all the time. these are realli precious frenx to me.
den my council mates. i realli realli have fun with this group of council mates. they may not be as sweet as my classmates. but this group is always fun and i enjoy being with them. i have this v good fren in council, he was from my og, den we went to council together. though council had my sec school frenx, but we were closer. he's a very nice guy. like my classmates, i go to him when i have good news or bad news and he will always be dere listening. den he also will tell me things so i also listen. he also treat me very good and i also very appreciate him as a good fren. and we're realli good frenx.
i have all these pple around me tat made me feel realli welcomed and loved by all of them. i'm not trying to say tat u dun make me feel welcomed or loved nor that u're not impt. i just wan to tell u tat i need frenx who are always around me and i have these great pple around me in jj.
but da thing is, i haven realli open up to anybody. meaning i dun have realli close frenx like wenjing and angelina cox i'm always in groups when i hang out in class and when in council. things tat are more personally i keep to myself and problems regarding tat i keep to myself too. so i still feel lonely at times, especially since my cliche is a five man cliche.
it's not tat i dun need u anymore. i noe that u still love me and i realli appreciates tat. i still need u but as a good fren tat will always be by my side. is it possible?? da decision lies in ur hands whether to accepy me a ur fren or not.
i realli hope that we can still be friends even if we're not a couple as i realli like u alot.
Thanx for all the things u've done for me in the past. u're realli appreciated. =)
biyun
if i had another chance. i still wans to be your lover again. i cant affort to lose you. this feeling of losing you is terrible. i feel lke dieing. i wan to jump off my building ytd nite. i cried badly. no one to share my problems with mi.
you are selfish. when u needed me most. i was there for you. but i needed you most. u wasnt there for mi. u got new clicks of frends. but i lost every single one of them when i always spends my time with you. i lose them. ended up, i got no one to tok to in the middle of the nite. no one know how sad i am. my heart realli aches. the pain was sharp. it juz stab right into my heart. i dunno how long do i need time to heal. i dunno how am i gonna live on. i dunno. tell mi. i need help. i need some help. i need counciling. i need someone to tok to mi. so i'm back to the old self. blogging again. that's what i can do.
gal. i really love ya. but u broke my heart. u turn ur back on mi. but i'll be waiting for you. coz i love ya. i need ya. and i miss ya. HUGS* give mi another chance to woo you back. i'll be right back for you when the time is ripe.
glad you have move on. really. it's been long time i never see you getting happy in ur life. if you are happy with wat ya have. i'll respect your decision. i'll leave sliently. i wun bothered about you nor anithing. no commitment. all i juz need is to be with you.
take good care of yaself when i'm not around animore. get along with ya family. dun let ur temper get over them. dun take ur mum ur sis for granted. treat them well. dun get bully by your frends. you always get sick often. see doctor if need. dun save the money. be good to ur daddy. no matter wat although he didnt did his part as ur father. let him regret. in ur heart u know u did ur part. you are going overseas soon. take good care. beware of robber and cheaters. dun get lost. if ya got finacial difficult. u can always look for mi. i'll be here for you whenever i can help.
it's been a great journey this 2 years. thanx for every happy moment. and i'll remember you forever.
I LOVE YOU BIYUN.
if i ain't got you|2:25 AM
wherever youwill go.
I wanna make you smile,
whenever you're sad.
Carry you around when your arthritis is bad.
Oh,all i wanna do, is grow old with you.
I'll get your medicine when your tummy aches,
Build you a fire if the furnace breaks.
Oh, it could be so nice, growin' old with you.
I'll miss you, kiss you,
Give you my coat when you are cold,
need you, feed you.
I'll even let you hold the remote control.
So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink,
put you to bed when you've had too much to drink.
Oh I could be the man who grows old with you.
I wanna grow old with you...
babes and hunks!
k Bun Bun
j Pui pui
j Liyu
k gay Eerik
j jiji=Jinhui
k Jacob
j cheryl
k chia ling
k denise
j Eddie
j Jasmin
k jia jun
j kelvin
k Kenneth
j Kok guan
k Man ping
j Razinah
k Vicky
k Wei Hui
j Yong Qiang
k Yvonne
j Yuan jin
k Zhe Bin
host: Blogger
credit: Blogskins
designer: eeeyaan
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Life is full of lots of up and downs
But the distance feels further
When it's headed for the ground
And there's nothing more painful
Then to let your feelings take
you down
It's so hard to know
When there's many thoughts
And feelings that you hide
But you might feel better
If you let me walk with you
By your side
And when you need
A shoulder to cry on
When you need
A friend to rely on
When the whole world is gone
You won't be alone
I'll be there
I'll be your shoulder to cry on
I'll be there
I'll be your friend to rely on
When the whole world's gone
You won't be alone 'cause I'll be there
All of the times
When everything is wrong
And your feeling like
There's no use going on
You can't give it up
I'll help you work it out
And carry on
Side by side
With you till the end
I'll always be the one
A Shoulder To Cry On Continued
To firmly hold your hand
No matter what is said or done
Our love will always continue on
